October 2021 Newsletter
CHAIRMAN’S CORNER
COVID 19 Lockdown and Return to Bowls
It is wonderful we can now return to bowls (if fully vaccinated) but was a pity the first two available days were washed out. There are some restrictions still in place
Upcoming General Meetings 30 October
At 11:15am there will be an Extraordinary Meeting to vote on the proposed amalgamation with the Killara Bowling Club. Full detail can be found on the Clubs website at https://www.lindfieldrollers.com.au/news
The 2021 Annual General Meeting is scheduled to start at 11:30am. The agenda can be found in this year’s Annual Report at
WebLindfieldRollersAnnualReport.pdf (squarespace.com)
Members should arrive at the Club before 11am for these meetings to allow time for registration and compliance with COVID-19 regulations.
Membership List
If you would like a current list of member contact details, please email the Club Secretary at secretary@lindfieldrollers.com.au or ask Liz at the bar.
Bridge Club
Due to COVID-19 restrictions, the Bridge Club will not be holding sessions at the Club on Wednesday and Saturdays until December.
Proposed Building Alterations
The Club is considering a building project to overcome shortcomings with its disabled facilities and at the same time refurbish the women’s restroom and locker area.
A drawing of the proposed work is now available for inspection on the noticeboard and comments by members are welcome.
This project will cost somewhere between $100-$200k which is beyond the means of the Club at the moment. So, the project going ahead will be dependent on the Club receiving a grant.
If you wish to comment, please email the Club Secretary at info@lindfieldrollers.com.au or drop a note in the wooden box under the raffle television. Comments close on Saturday 6 November.
Gary Forster can assist you if you would like a better explanation of the project.
Roger Parks, Chairman
MARIANNE HANGS UP HER BOOTS
After eight years as President of the Women’s club at both Roseville and Lindfield Rollers, Marianne Coningsby has decided to retire from that position. She will still retain her positions on the Bowls Committee and Head of Umpires but will now have more time to devote to her bowling. We all thank Marianne for her wonderful efforts over the years. The Board presented Marianne with a foral tribute at her last Board Meeting. Lorraine Forster will be taking up the role of Women’s President.
CLUB COMPETITIONS
After more than three months of lockdown with no bowls we have eventually been allowed back onto the greens. This hiatus has thrown our bowls calendar for the year completely out of kilter. Accordingly, it has become necessary to forego some of our club competitions so that we will be able to start the 2022 program with a clean slate. The Club Fours and Club Triples competitions had begun prior to the lockdown so we will continue with those competitions to their completion. The 2021 Mixed Pairs, Handicap Triples and Minor Singles competitions will not be held. If you involved in either the Triples or Fours please arrange to play your matches as soon as possible.
2022 CALENDAR
Bowls NSW is just about to issue the 2022 calendar of events after which our Zone/Region will need to incorporate their respective events. We can then begin to add our club events and competition schedule to formulate the combined 2022 calendar. We hope to have this available by early December.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
NEW RINK FURNITURE
It is great to see that the new rink numbers and boundary markers have been installed on Green No. 1. Once Green No. 2 comes back into play in another week or so the new rink furniture will also be deployed on that green. Green No. 3 will shortly be taken out of play to allow for it’s annual maintenance during which time aluminium bowls rests will be installed on all its ditch walls so that the new rink furniture will be deployed there when that green comes back into play.
LADIES ZOOM MEETING
During a Zoom meeting for our lady members held on September 25, 2001, our President Marianne Coningsby welcomed 11 new lady members to our club.
(Absent from Zoom & photo: Lillian Horton and Gillian Stegmann.)
Our new members were invited to say a few words of introduction and we look forward to seeing all of them on the bowling green before too long.
A big thank you to Phil Lewis and Gerry Ryman for introducing these new members.
ROSEVILLE SHIELD
With the 2020 Roseville Shield being cancelled due to Covid-19 we are pleased to advise that this year’s Roseville Shield will be going ahead at our club on Saturday, 27 November. We expect to have just about every club in our Zone represented, attracting top level bowlers from throughout the Zone. This is a big event and certainly helps to put our club “on the map”. With only two greens in operation at that time, it is unlikely that there will be room for any social bowls at our club on that day. We are making arrangements with Killara BC for our social bowlers to play there on that day. The Shield is an integral part of the Zone’s calendar and this year will see the 19th running of the Shield.
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
SEAFOOD SUNDAY
This much anticipated and much delayed event will now be going ahead at the club on Sunday 12 December. It has been decided to make this event double up as the club Christmas lunch. More details will be available closer to the time – any questions should be directed to Garth Aston. It is also planned that both the Women’s club and Men’s club will have separate get togethers leading up to Christmas.
Try this ALZHEIMERS EYE 👁🗨 TEST and don’t cheat.
Count every " F " in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT
OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY
COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now see below.
HOW MANY?
3 ... or 4 ... ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6.
READ IT AGAIN!
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 Fs before you read further.
Apparently the brain does not process "OF"
Anyone who counts all 6 "Fs” on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
This is the final newsletter that is being edited by Phil Lewis. We thank Phil for his efforts in preparing and sending out newsletters to all members over the last couple of years, particularly for keeping in touch with members during the Covid-19 lockdowns. The role of Newsletter Editor will now be taken on by Garry Lowder ... you can contact Garry at newsletter@lindfieldrollers.com.au if you have any suggestions about the newsletter or would like to make a suitable contribution for publication in a future issue. Phil will continue to send out the bulk emails to members.
This is a man whose mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some gems.
1. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists - they don’t expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good…
7 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8. If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend … but she left me before we met.
12. OK, what’s the speed of dark.
13. How do you tell when your out of invisible ink?
14. If everything is going well, you obviously overlooked something.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16. When everything is coming your way, You’re in the wrong lane.
17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18. Hard work pays off in the future, Laziness pays off now.
19. I intend to live forever….so far so good.
20. If Barbie is so popular, who do you have to buy her friends?
21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23. My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder”.
24. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
26. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
28. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.
30. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
31. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
34. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35. If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?