September 2021 Newsletter
Chairman’s Corner
COVID 19 Lockdown and Return to Bowls
It was most disappointing that we were forced to cancel our proposed Outdoor Exercise Program. We are lobbying hard for fully vaccinated bowlers to return to the greens as soon as possible.
New Website
This is up and running and I am sure you will be impressed with the new look and modern image. https://www.lindfieldrollers.com.au
I would like to thank Paul Goodwin who project managed the web design and Phil Lewis for technical support.
Annual Report & AGM
The Annual Report also has a new look and will be available on our website shortly.
The Annual General Meeting is scheduled for Saturday 30 October at 11:30am. Hopefully COVID restrictions will have eased by then and we can meet in the Clubhouse.
Proposed Amalgamation with Killara Bowling Club
According to the agreements we have signed with the Killara Bowling Club, the members’ votes need to be completed before 19 January 2022. Rather than having our members convene twice, the Board has decided to hold the Extraordinary General Meeting for Lindfield Rollers members to vote on the amalgamation on the same day as the AGM at 11:15am.
A detailed notice will be issued shortly.
Membership List
If you would like a current list of member contact details, please email the Club Secretary at secretary@lindfieldrollers.com.au.
Please remember privacy obligations and don’t share these details with anyone other than Club members.
Roger Parks
Chairman
Greens Report - September 2021
Green No 2 was taken out for renovation on Monday 6th September. No major work is anticipated, just scarifying fertilising and topdressing. This will be followed by No3 and No1 over the coming months.
All greens have been sprayed for weed and black beetle and are looking in great condition. Maybe we can get to try them soon.
A quote is being obtained for replacing the concrete bowls rests around green No3 with aluminium similar to those on greens 1 and 2. Work will commence in a few weeks when green No2 is back in play.
Forest Fencing is providing a quote to repair the log fence around Green No3.
A cost estimate and building application paperwork is being sought for the proposed redesign of the office space to accommodate a disabled toilet and also reconfiguration of the women’s restroom. To be compliant the disabled toilet must be able to provide access for a wheelchair AND contain a shower! Gary Forster has provided plans for consideration. It is proposed to seek a government grant for this project.
Barrie Jones
BOARD NOMINATIONS
Applications are being sought for Board and Committee positions in both the Club Limited and the Men's Club for the year 2021-2022. Contact the club secretary at secretary@lindfieldrollers.com.au for further information or to get a nomination form. Completed nomination forms should be left at the club or emailed to the secretary.
KILLARA COMMUNITY THEATRE
It was interesting to recently read in the North Shore Times that plans for the upgrade of the Marion Street Theatre in Killara look like going ahead shortly. Apparently, a large part of the costs for the refurbishment will be raised from the sale of the Roseville and Gordon bowling club sites.
You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
LADIES ZOOMING
A group of our Lindfield Rollers’ ladies joined a Zoom Morning Tea on Saturday morning 28th August.
Marianne welcomed the ladies and updated us with the current situation re the cancellations etc for the rest of the year and then handed over to Pat Pierson who was a surprise visitor for the morning tea. It was so lovely to have her join us. Pat is now a member of Bowral Bowling club and has been playing bowls all through our lockdowns but is now in lockdown as well.
We had fourteen ladies attend so, as you can imagine, there was a lot of catching up to do with a lot of chatter and it was also a lot of fun. This will be a fortnightly event until lockdown is over.
NO JABS … NO BOWLS
In the interest of the safety of all our members and visiting bowlers the club’s Board has determined that we will follow a policy of requiring all people attending the club to have both vaccination jabs before being admitted. On your first attendance you will be required to provide proof of your vaccination status. You should also keep your proof of vaccination with you in case inspection by authorities is required. If you have not already had both jabs then you had better get to it as a priority.
BRUCE ADAMS
We were saddened to hear of the passing of Bruce Adams in the middle of August. Bruce had been an active member of West Lindfield BC prior to joining the Roseville club. As age caught up with Bruce, he sadly had to give up his bowls but retained his interest in the activities of the club.
SEAFOOD SUNDAY
Once again, we have had to place this event on hold due to Covid restrictions. Hopefully, it will actually occur sometime soon … it is a good thing that we didn’t buy the seafood in advance!
From Roger Morrow:-
Bye Bye Miss American Pie
This is an incredible piece of work. Follow the lyrics closely together with the photos. They synchronize beautifully to explain each verse. Although Don McClean only released the song in 1971, for those of us who grew up in the 40s, 50’s and 60’s this is a great piece with some very poignant moments in the history of those times. Those were the days and we were very fortunate to grow up during that period of time. Be sure to skip the ads.
Politicians and nappies should be changed often and for the same reason
Business conferences are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
This is what 5km from the club looks like.
FRONT PORCH
On the first day, God created the dog and said,
"Just sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who walks past".
"For this, I'll give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten" And God thought that was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, make people laugh"
"For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years, that's a long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God, again, saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family".
"For this, I'll give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life; you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty" And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life"
"For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years, couldn't you give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that will make eighty" "Okay," said God, "If that's what you want."
That's why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain grandchildren and for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
If you can't think of a word, say, I forgot the English word for it. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
From Gary Forster
Lockdown is difficult and yet we find ways of making life rewarding. Online shopping has become a way of providing us with something to anticipate. In our quieter moments, which are often, one thinks of a small item for the kitchen that would be handy. You go online and place an order. You receive an email confirming the order. You then receive a text saying the item has been packed and dispatched. Then follows a text saying the post office has your package. A day or so later a further text saying your item is on its way. The finale is the text saying your package will be delivered today. The excitement is palpable even though you can no longer remember what you ordered. WHO CARES as you have a package coming TODAY!
From Garth Aston:-
THE SKIP
There’s a summer recreation, played by athletes short of breath.
Not a contest for faint-hearted – more a game of life and death.
On a barren field of battle underneath the blazing sun
Between white-robed gladiators simulating having fun.
It’s an old-age epidemic and no cure has yet been found.
The disease is most contagious because sufferers abound.
It affects most geriatrics – those unfit and overweight,
And it is played with balls of plastic that look round but won’t run straight.
And the object of the battle? Simply roll them up and back.
Try to get your ball the closest to a white thing called “the jack”
Now in theory bowls is skilful, but in practice that’s a farce,
Though it’s played by teams of experts the result is mainly arse.
Although four are doing battle all the work is done by three.
Each a legend in his lunchtime – on that point all three agree.
For the leader and the second form a team around the third.
And their skill is never questioned, not by gesture or by word.
And they praise each other's prowess till the match begins to slip,
Then they vent collective anger at the one they call “the skip”
He’s the lawn bowls' social outcast, standing distant and alone.
He’s responsible for failure – why he’s the skipper is not known.
He’s the only one not perfect, he’s the one they all abuse.
If they win he gets no credit – he’s the reason if they lose.
If the team is bowling badly and all drop their bottom lip,
Rest assured defeat rests squarely on the shoulders of the Skip.
If he urges them to “be up” he will hear the smart retort.
When the leader yells, “I’ve got shot “well he has – but ten feet short.
Then the second in his wisdom puts his first bowl in the ditch,
Or he bowls one on wrong bias “cause” he can’t tell which is which.
Now if patience is a virtue – it’s a blessing for a Skip.
As he sees his team unravel while abandoning the ship.
When he orders back wood cover he’s the one that’s called the clot.
When his second’s narrow effort knocks the other in for shot.
Then he hears his third’s cold verdict “Course the fool can’t read a head!
It was obvious he shoulda called you in back hand instead.
We all know I should be Skipper – more aggression’s what we need.
If he wasn’t a selector he’d be flat out making lead!
When three shots the rink is holding from a lot more luck than skill,
And the Skip tells the third, “Go easy, cover back bowls if you will”
But the third in dark defiance says “I like the open draw”
He lets fly and shifts the kitty and he gives away a four.
As they cross Skip gets instructions in a subtle barbed assault.
He should prove himself a skipper “cause the whole things now his fault”.
The impossible’s now wanted and the atmosphere is tense
With their short bowls lined up neatly like a knobbly picket fence.
“You can come in through this gap here, there’s a half an inch to spare.
We’ve all carried you this arvo so its time you did your share.
So Skip bowls it to perfection and it squeezes through the gap.
When it rests against the kitty there is not one single clap
Just a brief exchange of banter “See, I told him what to do,
that’s the first bowl that he’s given so its somewhat overdue!”
Then the opposition skipper bending low to bowl his last
Curses loudly, “That’s too narrow and its travelling too fast”.
For it’s doomed to be a ditcher veering out of bounds and quick.
But both teams look at it spellbound when it gets a mongrel wick.
Yes, a useless bowl the leader had dropped short and far too wide.
Sends the opposition skipper in obliquely from the side.
And it neatly strikes the shot bowl, shifts the kitty and what’s more
When the bowls have stopped their spinning well, the other side have four.
With the opposition cheering the poor Skipper cops a shock
When he hears his third expounding, “Course he should have set a block!”
With his last bowl to deliver it’s now time to have a drive.
A dead end is what is needed now to keep the game alive.
And a bowl that’s right on target sends the kitty springing out -
And a cry of jubilation as the second gives a shout.
“Look, I’ve got the shot, you beauty!” (Fate can sometimes be unkind.)
Shot from second’s hopeless effort bowled some twenty feet behind.
“Yeah, great bowl, you’ve won it for us” comes the loud triumphant quip.
(But the praise is for the second – not the poor embattled Skip.)
So the Skipper seeking solace drowns his sorrows at the bar,
And ignores his team’s post mortem with each one of them a star.
Though his thoughts turn suicidal when he hears his players say
That, “They’d won despite their skipper” and “they’s carried him all day!”
But a dozen double scotches soon begins to dull the pain,
And he ponders future matches and the stress he’ll bear again.
Of the enemy he’ll battle as they bitch and plot and scheme.
Not the friendly opposition – but the members of his team!
It’s a personal vendetta and each player’s private quest
To usurp their useless skipper and his leadership to wrest.
But they're thwarted by a lowlife from within their happy crew -
A despised group called “selectors” – “cause they haven’t got a clue”.
Sportsmanship is not an issue and the pressure doesn’t stop
When the sheep stations are the ante it’s damn lonely at the top.
For the buck stops with the Skipper and he shoulders all the blame
In his no-win situation – for it’s more than just a game.
SPECIAL OFFER FOR MEMBERS
One of our sponsors, Mr Drains, has a special offer for our members. You can call them on 9986 1234 to arrange for a service call … mention our club and you will get a $50 discount. This offer also includes a free camera inspection of your drains.
